Back to School

Today was the first day of school here. Molly embarked on her first day of Third Grade, Kennedy confidently entered the realms of Kindergarten, and Zoey enjoy 2.5 hours of being the only child (half of which she spent n her crib!). And Mommy, well Mommy spent equal amounts of the day worrying, preparing, and wondering and a few minutes sitting down and having grown-up time (something that has not existed this summer at all!). As Molly proclaimed when she woke up, "Today is a Big DAY!" - it certainly was - and they showed every bit of the emotions from today in their tired little faces this evening. And although, Molly is still awake, picking at every scab and fingernail she can find - I'm hoping to see the anxiety leave her soon so she can rest that precious brain of hers before tomorrow's BIG DAY!

The start of the school year is always met with such a mix of emotions for me. As a former teacher, I used to relish every minute of my unscheduled time. Now, granted, there was only one summer I didn't work or have a kid and it was the summer we got married - so it was still super busy - but it was a blissful summer! Now as a parent, I both relish my undisturbed and unstructured time with the kids and count down the days until they are back in the routines schools require. Then there is the planning that goes into sending a medically needy child into someone else's care for 6+ hours. And of course there is the worrying that goes into not having said child in my sights all day, as I have all summer. Unfortunately it was a very tough summer for Molly. She was sick, lethargic and went to doctor's appointments or therapy appointments 2-3 times a week. So, leaving her today was hard. I thank God every day she has an amazing para with her 1:1, keeping tabs on her and making sure she stays safe. 

Molly & her beautiful Para Linda

I think it's normal for parents to worry about their kids when they go to school. Heck, in this day and age, we'd be almost callous not to. But, when you have a child with special needs or a challenging medical picture - it's easy to be consumed by the worry. I didn't realize how much I was worrying about Molly until I dropped Kennedy off today without hesitation or worry, but couldn't let the nagging worry I had for Molly go. I can tell myself all the time that she will be fine, but I've seen her not fine so much lately that it's hard to let it go. 

So, I did what I do best. I organized and I prepped and I made sure everything was in order so that if anything unexpected came up, we'd be ready to roll! I got all Molly's meds together, all the paperwork that goes along with them, Kennedy's updated medical form with her recently acquired immunizations marked and dated, all of Molly and Kennedy's school supplies, and Molly's completed summer packet. Then there was adjusting Molly's meal intake to correspond to the later lunch schedule that 3rd grade brought on. I made her Modified Atkins Lunch and double morning snacks. I got both their water bottles ready and Kennedy's snack too. Everything was nice and lined up. Their first day of school outfits were laid out as well as their new shoes from Goomie. They got up and I fixed their hair. Chris helped me make breakfast and by 8:40am we were on our way down to school.

The school is so great about working with us. They've given us a parking pass so Molly doesn't have to walk too far. They know us and help us with med drop off and disseminating very important information to Molly's ever growing team. They do their best to make me feel comfortable and safe about Molly being away from me. 

Bottom line is that I made it! Best news is that the kids made it too! As the school has been so understanding, I pick both girls up about 10 minutes early to avoid the insane chaos of the end of  the day. I was standing by the main office as Molly came from Science Class back to her classroom. Her para, Linda, was holding her hand and Molly looked about ready to fall asleep. She fought back tears as she saw me. My big girl held it together all day and kept her emotions mostly in tact. When she walked in the door, she collapsed on the couch and just laid there for an hour - emotionally, mentally and physically drained. I guess it's good my other two buddies were there, or I probably would have just laid down next to her and snuggled her for the entire hour! 

so tired after a full day back!

I was thrilled to hear Kennedy chat contentedly about being a Kindergartner. She talked about all the teachers that came into her room, all the kids, the fun things they did. It was hard to keep up with her and it was a welcomed reaction from the grilling I usually have to give Molly about her day! I was so proud of Kennedy. She smiled, laughed and walked like such a big girl into her first day of school.  Today was truly the first day of Keddy's educational career - one that will be as big as she can dream! School is where I found my love of music, reading, math, and teaching and I hope that my girls can stumble upon just as many amazing educational discoveries! 

Everyday I kiss them goodbye and send them off to the care of their amazing teachers, I am putting complete trust and faith in those teachers hands and in the school. It's harder then I ever imagined, but I know the girls are getting so much out of their time in school that I suck it up each day and try to keep the nagging worry in the back of my head.